At some point it's bound to happen: Kids want to buy something that costs more than the money in their wallet. And as they get older, the gap gets bigger.
In fact, by the time kids hit junior high, their wants are suddenly $200 videogame systems, a $100 pair of trendy jeans or a $400 scooter. And as a parent you're no longer inclined to hand over the missing money.
So then what?
Kids have a ready answer: 'Can you lend me the money?'
It's a staple of every parent-child relationship. You're the bank, and across from you is a borrower who, in the best of times, doesn't even measure up to subprime -- unemployed, reliant on allowances and the odd holiday and gift checks, and quick to forget to repay the debt because it's only Mom and Dad.
Many parents often do write off the loan, both because they realize they're not likely to recoup the cash and because they see it as an act of love.
But is that the right message to send to kids -- that it's OK to skip out on a debt? Or, despite their age, should they be held to a more businesslike standard?
Just to be clear, I'm not talking about lending to grown offspring -- the loans parents make to help kids buy a car or a house or to start a business. Even if the loan is ultimately forgiven, the adult children know the basics of the borrower-lender relationship. Or at least they should.
That isn't the case with preteens and young teens. Kids aren't in a place mentally where they contemplate their financial obligations. I still have to remind my nearly 12-year-old son that he's supposed to deposit part of his allowance in his savings account every month. Like most kids, he has so many other things on his mind -- from school cliques and homework to neighborhood friends and the cartoon he wants to record -- that personal finance holds no real importance at this age.
That doesn't mean, however, that kids are incapable of understanding the basics of personal finance and how loans work. And it doesn't mean parents should skip such lessons. After all, managing money isn't just about learning to save and invest. Much of daily life is built around debt, from home mortgages to credit cards to car loans.
Just as with so many other topics, then, the best place to learn about borrowing is at home, where failure doesn't come with harsh, potentially life-altering penalties.
To that end, one of my friends on the West Coast has begun serving as personal banker to his son. In the past year, he has gladly lent the teenager money for such items as a videogame system ($250) and an upgraded BMX bike ($175).
But with each loan comes Dad's Loan Documents. 'They might not hold up in a court of law,' my friend says, 'but they are, in essence, what you have to sign when you take out a real loan from a bank.'
The paperwork details the interest rate Dad charges (a flat 5% every time), the length of the loan (each one stretches no longer than a year), the amount of each payment and the date each month when that payment is due. He also provides his son what he calls a 'total cost analysis' so his boy can see exactly how much the financing really costs, and spells out the penalties for nonpayment.
So, for instance, with that $175 loan for the bike, the document showed that for a nine-month loan his son owed $19.85 a month, that the money is due on the 15th of each month, and that at the end of nine months he will have paid nearly $179, or roughly $4 in financing costs.
If his son falls behind in his payments, Dad effectively repossesses the bike, meaning his son has no access to it, until the account is back in good standing. That happened once with the videogame system, my friend says, 'but only once. He hated not being able to play his game because he forgot to pay his debt. You feel like an ogre doing that, but you have to have some penalty and be adamant about sticking to it. Otherwise the loan means nothing and my son doesn't learn that you have to repay your debts on time or face unpleasant repercussions.'
I haven't offered my son a loan, though I am considering it.
He wants a new videogame system, which his mom and I refuse to buy because Santa just delivered one this past Christmas. If he wants to spend his own money this way, I'm fine with it. But he's short by about $150.
Sure, he could save his allowance for a while, but to him, the months would feel like eons. He could tap his savings, but doesn't want to. He'd like his mom and me to pay him for extra chores, but his suggested pay rate ('I'll fold the clothes for $50') is laughable.
A loan, though, might make some sense.
He obtains something he considers important now, but learns that borrowing comes with strings attached, which could save him from stupid decisions later in life. His allowance would support a one-year repayment plan of $13 a month, and knowing how much he loves videogames, the possibility of repossession should be adequate encouragement for him to pay in a timely manner, teaching him a very valuable life skill.
My only concern at this point is buyer's remorse. Will he borrow to spend, only to wish he hadn't, and then gripe about having to repay me?
Then again, even that is a worthy lesson for him to learn now.
***分割符***
这事迟早会发生：孩子们想买的东西标价超过了他们钱包里的零用钱。随着他们年龄的增长，二者之间的差距会越来越大。
实际上，到孩子们上初中之前，他们想要的会突然“升级”为200美元的游戏机&#12289;100美元一条的时尚牛仔裤或是一辆400美元的踏板车。作为家长，你已不再想贴补他们。
那么遇到这种情况该怎么办？
孩子们有个现成的答案：你能把钱借给我吗？
这是所有亲子关系里的重头戏。你是银行，站你的对面就是借款人，而且如果有评级的话，这位借款人满打满算都够不上“次级”──没有工作&#12289;仅依靠零用钱及偶尔的节日红包，还很快就会把还钱的事忘个精光，反正债主就是老爸老妈。
很多父母常常把孩子的欠债一笔勾销，这一方面是因为他们意识到自己实在不可能把现金收回来，二是因为他们觉得这是爱孩子的表现。
不过这是向孩子发出的正确讯息吗──欠债不还没什么大不了？我们是不是应该不管孩子们年龄多大，都要让他们遵守一种更为公事公办的标准呢？
我要说明一点，我并不是在讨论家长借钱给成年子女，帮助他们买车&#12289;买房或是创业。即使这样的贷款最后被家长免掉了，成年的孩子还是懂得借贷关系中的基本知识的，或者说他们至少应该知道。
但对十几岁甚至更小的孩子来说却不是这样。这时的孩子们根本不会深入思考自己的财务责任。我至今仍必须提醒我那快12岁的儿子，应该每月把一部分零用钱存到储蓄帐户里。和大部分孩子一样，他的小脑袋瓜里挤满了太多东西──学校里的死党&#12289;家庭作业&#12289;邻家的朋友以及想录下来的卡通片──在他这样年龄的孩子看来，个人财务状况一点不重要。
不过，这并不意味着孩子们无法理解个人财务以及贷款运作的基本知识，也不是说家长应该跳过此项教育。毕竟，理财并不只是学习攒钱和投资。日常生活有很大一部分都构筑于债务的基础上，从房屋抵押贷款&#12289;信用卡&#12289;到汽车贷款。
正如其他很多问题一样，学些借贷的最佳场所就是家里，因为在自己家中，就算是失败了也不会有严重&#12289;甚至可能会改变一生的后果。
我有一位家住西海岸的朋友已经开始给自己儿子提供个人银行服务了。在过去的一年中，他已经欣然借钱给十几岁的儿子买了游戏机（250美元）和升级版的BMX自行车（175美元）等东西。
不过每笔贷款都附有《老爸的贷款文件》。我的朋友说，那些文件可能在法庭上不会有什么用处，不过在本质上，它们和你从银行贷款时必须签署的协议是一回事。
《老爸的贷款文件》详细规定了贷款利率（每笔都是5%的统一利率）&#12289;贷款期限（每笔不得超过1年）&#12289;每笔还款额以及每月还款到期日。他还向儿子提供了他称之为“总成本分析”的服务，以便孩子能清楚地看到贷款成本到底是多少，而且还规定了逾期不还的惩罚措施。
以那笔175美元的自行车贷款为例，文件规定这是一笔9个月期的贷款，儿子每月要还款19.85美元，还款日是每月的15号，在9个月结束的时候，他的还款总额将近179美元，也就是要支付大约4美元的贷款成本。
如果儿子没能按期还款，老爸就会坚定地收回自行车，也就是说直到儿子的贷款帐户恢复到了良好级别，他才能使用自行车。我的朋友说，买游戏机的时候出现过一次这样的事，不过只有一次；儿子讨厌因为忘记还款而不能玩游戏；作为家长，你会觉得自己这样做简直像恶魔，不过你必须设定一些惩罚措施，而且要做到言必信&#12289;行必果，否则贷款就毫无意义了，孩子也不会学会必须及时还贷&#12289;否则就要自食其果的道理。
我还没开始向我的儿子放贷，不过正在考虑要这样做。
我儿子想要一部新游戏机，但这个要求遭到了我和他妈妈的拒绝，因为他在去年圣诞节时已经收到了一部游戏机作礼物。如果他想花自己的钱买，我倒是一点意见都没有。但他还缺大约150美元。
当然，他可以把零用钱攒下来，不过对他来说，攒钱的几个月将是度日如年。他也可以动用存款，可他又不想这样做。他希望我和太太给他派更多的家务活好让他多挣点钱，但他提出的酬劳实在高得离谱（我叠衣服，你们付我50美元）。
而向他放贷或许是个好办法。
如果他得到了自己认为非常重要的东西，而且也懂得了借钱是有条件的，这样或许能使他在日后免于做出愚蠢的决定。他的零用钱能支撑一年的还款，每月13美元，而且考虑到他对玩游戏的热衷，收回游戏机的可能应该足以督促他及时还款，这就教会了他一项非常宝贵的生活技能。
眼下我唯一的担忧就是买家后悔。我儿子会不会借钱消费后又反悔，然后抱怨不得不还钱给我？
不过即使是这样，这也是值得他现在就学会的一课。
