That 'Nobody on his deathbed ever said, 'I wish I'd spent more time at the office,'' is a well-worn idiom.
Yet a new long-term study, published in the latest edition of the Journal of Family Psychology (subscription required) affirms that thinking: Fortifying family ties, not making more money, is the best way to become a happier person.
The research, based on a 10-year look at 274 married people's happiness over time, found that improvement in 'family social support' had the power to make people happier over the life of the study, while increases in income did not. Families were rated high in social support if members were helpful and compassionate with each other, talked often and honestly, and fought infrequently. A change in income over the life of the study didn't change subjects' reported happiness over time. (To be sure, when measured at any fixed point in time, higher-income people in this mostly middle-class sample tended to be slightly happier in general, says the study, led by researchers at the University of Texas, Austin; a happier family life had an even bigger effect, however.)
The study is unusual in taking a long-term perspective. By pitting family against work, it mirrors the way these priorities often compete in daily life. And the findings ring true for me. While increases in income or career success have been pleasant distractions for me, I derive fundamental meaning and contentment largely from my relationships with my children, my brother and sister and my nieces and nephews.
Of course, happiness is a complex topic. Other experts - most notably psychologist Martin Seligman, author of the bestselling books 'Learned Optimism' and 'Authentic Happiness' - say the underpinnings of happiness are more internal, based largely on the individual's ability to cultivate, focus on and express positive emotion. The mind-set that produces happiness and well-being can be learned, serving as an antidote to depression and meaninglessness, these experts say.
Readers, do you think your personal happiness derives from external factors such as family support, or internal emotions? What role, if any, do money and career success play?
***分割符***
“从来没人在临终之际说：‘我要是把更多的时间花在了办公室就好了。’”这句话被人们引用了无数次。
而最新一期Journal of Family Psychology上发表的一篇长期研究论文再次肯定了这种观点：要让自己更幸福，最好的办法是加强亲情，而不是多挣钱。
这项研究对274位已婚人士进行了10年的跟踪调查，关注他们在各个时期的幸福感，研究发现，“家庭社会支持”的改善能够让研究对象觉得自己的生活更幸福，而加薪则起不到这样的效果。如果家庭成员互相帮助，相亲相爱，经常交谈，坦诚相对，很少吵架，那么家庭的社会支持度就很高。研究对象的薪资变化并没有影响长时间的幸福感。（当然，研究表明，以固定的时间点衡量，这个大多由中产阶层组成的研究对象群体中收入较高者总体来说幸福感略强，不过幸福的家庭生活的效应更强。该研究由得克萨斯大学奥斯汀分校(University of Texas, Austin)的研究人员牵头进行。）
这项研究从长期角度出发，这一点不同寻常。通过将家庭生活与工作进行对比，反映出了这些方面常常在日常生活中互相冲突的方式。而研究结果对我来说很真实。虽然加薪或事业上的成功对于我也是很愉快的调剂，但我觉得真正有意义&#12289;让我觉得满足的是我与自己的孩子&#12289;兄弟姐妹以及侄子侄女们的亲情。
当然，幸福是个复杂的话题。另外一些专家──其中最著名的就是心理学家&#12289;着有《学会乐观》(Learned Optimism)和《真实的快乐》(Authentic Happiness)的马丁·塞利格曼(Martin Seligman)──认为，幸福的基石更多地关乎人的内心，在很大程度上是基于一个人发掘&#12289;关注和表达正面情绪的能力。这些专家说，产生快乐和幸福感的心态是可以习得的，这种心态可以防止沮丧和觉得人生无味的情绪产生。
亲爱的读者，你认为你的幸福快乐是源自家庭支持等外在因素，还是内心的情绪？如果金钱和事业成功有一定的作用，它们又如何影响你的幸福感呢？
